7 Coolest Lightsaber Knock-offs

13 05 2009

The lightsaber. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster, and the target of nerdy affection the world over. It’s every nerd’s dream to whip out a cold metal hilt, flip a switch, a feel the warm glow of electric death at their fingertips, waiting to rend their enemies. This has been true since Star Wars premiered in 1977.

Because of this, they are a part of everyday science fiction, and perhaps someday, science fact.

That being said, here are my favorite 7 Lightsaber Knock-offs.

#7: Zero’s Z-Saber (Megaman X Series)

One ponytail, a new coat of paint, and a sweet weapon, and bam, PERFECT.

One ponytail, a new coat of paint, and a sweet weapon, and bam, PERFECT.

When I was younger, I loved going to my cousin’s house and playing Megaman X. However, it was not the blue bomber that had me captivated. Oh no, Rockman was not my forte. (Get it?) I wanted to play as the red clad, hippie-haired Zero, wielding his amazing blue Z-Saber.

Plus, later it became chargable. Can Skywalker charge up his weapon for a massive attack? …well, yeah, with the force, maybe… Zero is still amazing.

#6: Energy Sword (Halo)

Uh, sir, one blade just isnt doing the job, plus, Lucasarts will stab us to death unless we change it...

Uh, sir, one blade just isn't doing the job, plus, Lucasarts will stab us to death unless we change it...

I hate Halo. It’s an abomination running over with twelve year olds screaming into mics, endless sniper ambushes, rocket and grenade spamming, and people boasting about how 1337 they are.

That being said, the designs are really nicely done, and sometimes, nothing is more fun than getting together with a group of friends, turning on super speed and capture the flag, and going at it with a bunch of Energy Swords. Plus, it has a laser blade protruding from the top and bottom of the hilt, and has very limited ammo in single player mode, to keep it from being entirely cheap.

#5: Saber Weapons (Phantasy Star Online)

Completely broken when not online. Easy mode for weaklings. For some reason, they get the coolest weapons though...

Completely broken when not online. Easy mode for weaklings. For some reason, they get the coolest weapons though...

Ah, Phantasy Star Online. Now that’s what I call a video game. Although I play a RAmar (rifle expert) called Troa and a FOmar (mage) named Aether, both my best friend and my girlfriend play HUmars, the sword swinging behemoths of the Phantasy Star universe world. (Not to be confused with Phantasy Star UNIVERSE, as that game made me ponder what fun falling to my death would be.)

In addition to being able to wield one normal lightsaber-esque weapon, they can wild a huge broadsword version, a dual knife version, or go Darth Maul with a twin-bladed version, ala Episode 1. However, Rifles are still comparable in strength for a majority of the game, and magic still proves most deadly, meaning this is a game where the players who don’t want to ‘Use the force, Luke’ can tell old Ben Kenobi to stuff it.

#4: “Light Saber” (Ico)

The magnificent puzzle game known as Ico rocked the Playstation 2 to its core and still amazes fans to this day. This is impressive for many reasons, the most impressive being that the game could be beaten in one sitting in only a couple of hours.

However, if played through twice and fawned over, endlessly, one could be rewarded…

Holy crap. Find a waterfall, smack a tree, pick up a ball, solve the Da Vinci code, send an e-mail to Moses, find Shangrila and throw this into Emilia Earhart’s cargo bay and boom. God throws you a lightsaber the size of your house. It may only work when you hold Yorda’s hand (aww, cute), but who CARES! That thing is GIGANTIC!

Thanks to str00py for the vid.

#3: Beam Saber (Mobile Suit Gundam)

Char: Amuro, I am your Father! Amuro: Thats not true! Thats IMPOSSIBLE! Even my father didnt hit me!

Char: Amuro, I am your Father! Amuro: That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE! Even my father didn't hit me!

Just two short years after Star Wars came out, another massively cool series began to air, one that changed the face of anime’. Mobile Suit Gundam was the story of a boy named Amuro who piloted a giant robot and nearly single-handedly ended an entire war.

What weapon is at his side throughout it all and remains a staple of Gundam weaponry to this very day? That would be the Beam Saber. It isn’t a lightsaber, not at all. Especially not with a hilt like this.

Pictured: NOT a lightsaber.

Pictured: NOT a lightsaber.

#2: Revolcane (Kamen Rinder BLACK RX)

Who needs the force? Hes a Kamen Rider, for crying out loud!

Who needs the force? He's a Kamen Rider, for crying out loud!

Everyone loves Kamen Rider. Well, ok, not everyone, but they should. One of the most popular of the Showa Era riders is none other that Kamen Rider BLACK, and his sequel, BLACK RX.

You may not remember, but Black actually came to the states for a bit, as the short lived Saban series Masked Rider. He was all kinds of cool, and one of his later weapons just happened to look a tad familiar…

Thanks to Galan000 for the vid, skip to 5:30 to see the Revolcane in action.

Simply amazing. that shower of sparks makes my day every time.

#1: Tsubaki Mk-II (No More Heroes)

What’s better than a single bladed lightsaber? A dual-bladed one? No, how about four, like General Greivous? Nope, still not enough. I need this guy dead so bad, I think I’ll just tape FIVE LIGHTSABERS TOGETHER AND CALL IT GOOD.

Holy crap. Even the force cant handle all of this.

Holy crap. Even the force can't handle all of this.

As the game’s protagonist, Travis Touchdown, goes on his quest to be the best assassin in all of Santa Destroy, he can acquire many ‘Beam Katanas,’ my favorite of which is the Mk-II. The Blood Berry and Tsubaki Mk-I before this were both single-bladed weapons, and the Mk-III is also single-bladed, but between all the one-bladed “normal” lightsabers, we find the wonderful, destructive Five-bladed beauty, the Mk-II.

Here it is at work. Thanks to ultimatechocobo86 for the vid.

If you disagree, comment! Tell me YOUR favorite, shameless lightaber rip-off!

Until next time. -GG

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One response

14 05 2009
feralw01f

You must mean megaman x2. Zero didn’t have his beam saber in megaman x1

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