Glitch of the Week: Bioshock

12 06 2009

In keeping with our Battle Royale and giant mechanized warriors with weapons for arms, I decided to do some of my favorite glitches from the phenomenally fun Bioshock.

Pictured: A Father / Daughter pair you do NOT want to mess with... unless you want to perform an exorsism on her or rot her flesh off. Then go for it.

Pictured: A Father / Daughter pair you do NOT want to mess with... unless you want to perform an exorsism on her or rot her flesh off. Then go for it.

I really loved playing this game. It may not have been difficult and the final boss may have been too easy for my liking, but it doesn’t detract from the VERY enjoyable and oddly unique-per-person experience of Bioshock.

I, for example, kept getting pictures of the chameleon splicers till I could become invisible, then stood silently in a room and waited for someone to wander in front of my gun. Then, after they were twitching and their comrades were yelling for them, I turned invisible and repeated the process. I also took many a big daddy as bodyguards and every time I saw a machine, I hacked faster than Lizzie Borden.

That being said, I wish there were a few more ending options. It’s all dependedant on what you do to the Little Sisters. Kill even one, you get the bad ending. Kill them ALL, get the same bad ending, but she sounds a little more miffed about it. Save ALL of them, get the good ending.

In the end, you can either be Mega Baby Punching Hitler Hussein or Rainbow Shining Super Jesus Obama.

Pictured: That second one.

Pictured: That second one.

Also, here’s yesterday’s pic of the day. I knew I forgot to do something.

Well, onto the glitches. I’ve got a few to report about. Spoilers in green.

– About halfway into the game, my audio broke. To the point where sound effects were mere bloops, music was like a scratched CD, and the vocal acting was suddenly on par with Stephen Hawking. Still better than Twilight though.

-Later, in the apartment complex, you can happen upon a cache of guns. What sucks is that they’re behind iron bars. However, if you have Telekinesis, you can pull them to you and lo and behold, ammo galore!

Now, I had a Big Daddy following me at this point, and I was grabbing stuff like crazy. I grabbed a shotgun, then some bullets, so on and so forth, and then I accidentally picked up some pistol rounds. Being full, he just held them in his TK grip, and then tossed them.

I watched, in terror, as the bullets bounced off the shelf at the back, flew towards me, between the bars, over my head, and and tapped my Big Daddy companion on the noggin. She instantly flew into a rage and shot me full of holes.

-However, the oddest glitch was right at the end of the game, as you are supposed to chase Frank Fontain to the final battle area and you see him outside of the Bathysphere.

The game loaded the level, I walked forward, near the fire, and the game froze. I tried again. It froze. Frustrated, I loaded an earlier save and played the grueling powers randomly shifting level before that, and got back to the level, where it froze again.

I then went to Hastings to rent the game. It was there, but they said that someone had put the box out by mistake. I was given a coupon for a free rental. I came back the next day. Same thing. Next day, same deal. Ended up with a fist full of free rental coupons and no game.

Angry, I went to Blockbuster. They didn’t have the game, not even in their SYSTEM. They didn’t carry it there at all, they said.

So, I headed to Hollywood Video. Rented the game, headed home. It still froze, and upon examining the disk, the underside appeared to have been warped prior to my renting it. I returned the game, angry, and asked for a refund. They said they’d put a free rental on the account, which they didn’t do. I don’t rent from there now.

So, I headed to Hastings, to snag another free coupon, but the game box wasn’t there. As I left, I decided to ask, on sheer chance. The game WAS in, even though there was no box. I rented it and headed home. Still failed.

So, I called a friend, who brought over his Xbox, put in the game, and beat it in two hours. Perfect. Still, the other Xbox hasn’t had a single problem with any other game I’ve ever seen.

So, I glitched multiple video stores, a system, and the game itself. I still love Bioshock. Until next time, readers, don’t mess with Mr. Bubbles. -GG

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