Midweek Mashup: Indiana Jones VS Lara Croft

17 06 2009

Hey you guys. Enough breaking news that doubles as the pic of the day, let’s get back in the brand new swing of things and get our Wednesday rolling with our weekly battle royale…

Glitchy Goblin’s Midweek Mashup!

Last week, we saw Megaman, the Blue Bomber, get slammed into submission by that part Human, part Chozo, all action super-star, Samus Aran!

This week, we have a brand new challenge.

Pictured: Their kid could even find the long lost remains of Shia Labeoufs acting skills.

Pictured: Their kid could even find the long lost remains of Shia Labeouf's acting skills.

The premise is very simple, ladies and gentlemen. First, let’s go over the equipment.

Indiana Jones (Post Last Crusade)

Around 40 years old, has a doctorate in history and knows more about ancient civilizations than the people who lived there.

Armed with his trusty pistol and whip, leather jacket body armor and a striking fedora.

Weaknesses include a weakness to snakes. Jones also hesitates to hit a lady, but will if necessary. Also tends to be too trusting and lacking in people skills.

Strengths include incredible willpower and endurance. Deities sometimes favor him. He also has a college education and doesn’t hesitate to kill. Survived both world wars and shook Hitler’s hand.

Lara Croft

Around 28 years old. Her birthday was originally in 1968, but it has since been said that she lives on a shifting timeline, keeping her around her late 20’s. Knows only what she hears and knows from private research. Lacks even a highschool education.

Armed with twin pistols (That need to reload! No infinite Ammo, either! She and Indy have the same amount of bullets.) and whatever she finds on the ground. No professional training. No melee abilities.

Weaknesses include lack of physical combat, less health and endurance than Jones, hated by many deities. Slightly less hesitant to kill. (In anniversary she records her first human kill, which haunts her throughout the game.)

Strengths include incredible stamina  and acrobatics skill, and is reliable with a wide array of weapons. Fought dinosaurs.

Equal Ground

Both are knowledgeable about history. Indy studied under his father, on his own as a child and teen during WWI, then professionally and in college. Lara, on the other hand, has been adventuring her entire life and knows nothing else.

Likewise, they’ve both faced unbelievable foes. Indy dealt with the Ark of the Covenant, fought an entire Cult, Nazis over and over again, rival archeologists, and entire cultures. Lara fought Dinosaurs once, wolves, hit men, bears, and so forth.

Setting: The Temple of Three Paths

Thanks to our old pall, the Deus Ex Machina brand Random Temple Generator, our competitors find themselves 1002 miles apart, each 500 miles from their entrance of the Temple of Three Paths. They were both just informed by the Deus Ex Machina brand Informant for Hire that there’s a priceless Golden Goblin located within the temple, but no one knows where it is or what dangers the temple holds.

Now, your challenge, my little minions, tell me who would get to their entrance of the temple first, and who you think will win this little competition! Vote now and check back tomorrow for our update!

As always, you can gain bonus votes by explaining your decision in detail in the comments section!

Until tomorrow, treasure hunters -GG




5 responses

17 06 2009
Haley V

I voted for Lara, because in every Indy movie (I count the good ones), he is distracted and/or set back in his task by a pretty lady. You think he would learn.

17 06 2009

Indy wins because he is a man.

18 06 2009

I agree with Ender, Indy is indeed a man and therefore wins.

18 06 2009

If this is indeed the same person posting again, Indy will lose a vote. No going to a new computer and posting a second time. Or do. I don’t care.

18 06 2009
Midweek Mashup: Indiana Jones VS Lara Croft « Glitchy Goblin - Pyramids

[…] Continue reading here: Midweek Mashup: Indiana Jones VS Lara Croft « Glitchy Goblin […]


I’m only allowing it to be here because it’s bringing me traffic. If it causes a problem, let me know and I’ll kill it.

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