Glitch of the Week: Crazy Taxi

29 06 2009

Trying this out, making my postes short and sweet, for easier reading.

That being said, let’s jump right in, shall we?

This week’s game: Crazy Taxi.

Two maps, three partial songs, four characters, and more fun than Kingdom Hearts entire game series put together.

Two maps, three partial songs, four characters, and more fun than Kingdom Hearts' entire game series put together.

Crazy Taxi is a simple game: you drive a cab, you pick people up, you drive real fast to their destination, you get paid. Repeat process.

That being said, one place you can drop people off is KFC, and it was here that my favorite Crazy Taxi Glitch occured.

I was pedaling (using the bike) up to KFC’s front door, sliding into a devilishly stylish stop, slamming the side of my vehicle into the pole in order to make an instantanious stop.

Didn’t work that way.

Instead, I bounced off, hit it again, bounced off, hit again, repeat process, rising into the air for thirty seconds until finally, angry, my customer leapt out into the air, cursed, checked his watch, and walked away.

Looked like this, but on a KFC sign. Thanks, shadowmoses45.

A tiny bit of mild swearing in that video, if you’re worried about that.

Until next week, I’ll go ahead and pick a car and driver… GUS. C’mon, let’s have some fun! -GG

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Glitch of the Week: Half-Life 2

20 06 2009

Whew. I had one heck of a crappy day yesterday, readers. That, combined with some errors that were going on with wordpress (mainly with their auto-created Polldaddy accounts) meant that I couldn’t even get to my poll to give you guys a heads up on the Midweek Mashup.

That being said, sorry if you guys felt left out. Please keep visiting the site daily.

That being said, this week’s Glitch of the Week is Half-Life 2.

Pictured: One of the worlds greatest nerds.

Pictured: One of the world's greatest nerds.

For those of you that care, I’ll do HL1 with the ‘Episode’ games later.

Well, we’re gunna start with HL2, since I think my original Half-Life glitch is more entertaining.

For the none of you who don’t know, and for the hope that Valve will send me money, Half-Life is a FPS about scientist Gordon Freeman who, after an experiment gone wrong, is left in the middle of an alien war on humanity, and only he can save the world.

It’s amazing. buy it.

Now, I’ve got four glitches to report in HL2. Spoilers in green.

1. During the boss fight with the helicopter, I had fought hard and totally wrecked that guy’s day. The helicopter was going down, and I was backing away from the descending wreckage… which was coming right for me.

I thought I was making good distance, that I’d be fine, but then it crashed… right on top of me. I died. I was a little more than dissapointed.

2. Near the end of the game, inside the citadel, there’s a long level where you ride a prisoner transport for a bit. Remember it? It isn’t important.

In this level, you have to run along, uniterupted by guards and such, and eventually, you reach a railing you you need to jump. Just a simple jump. Easy as pie.

Nope. I press the spacebar, and nothing. Not so much as a skip. I reset the control. No change. Re-assigned the button? No dice. Had to play the level again after restarting the game.

Now for the big ones.

3. Partway through the game, Gordon and Alyx Vance arte fighting the combine underground, and Gordon is expected to protect her at all costs. The level loads, I’m ready to protect her.

But not protect BOTH of her.

There were two ‘Alyx Vance’s following me around. One ended up getting gunned down, so I lost the level, much to my dismay. But it was so worth it for the story. ^_^

Dangermuffin had the same glitch in a different area.

4. Lastly, I like to do nonsensical things in video games. Like, say, dragging turrets through levels so I can use them as free ammo and make my life easier.

I did this up to the rescue of Eli Vance where I positioned the turrets at the back of the room and defended them, letting them cover me. This was all well and good, until the part where Alyx uses the prisoner transport system to bring Eli down.

The turret, which only targets enemies and won’t fire on Alyx or friendly NPC’s, shot him in the face, causing him to fall through his restraints and lay dead on the floor.

The characters simply stood there, staring at Gordon. I ran around, confused, and the story couldn’t progress as he was supposed to speak and further the story.

Mwmalecky found this bug too, luckily. He also assuced the turrets of racism… which isn’t that far of a stretch here, actually.

I reloaded the game, just to hear the BE-BE-BEEP of the turret charging up and killing him again. I reloaded AGAIN, heard the BE-BE-BEEP again, spun and shotguned the turret like crazy. Lucky for me, it didn’t have time to murder him that time.

Dang. Crazy glitches, huh?

I still love that game.

I’ll post the finale of the Midweek Mashup later, along with the pic of the day. Thanks for understanding.

Until next time, Goblinites, avoid racist turrets. -GG





Glitch of the Week: Bioshock

12 06 2009

In keeping with our Battle Royale and giant mechanized warriors with weapons for arms, I decided to do some of my favorite glitches from the phenomenally fun Bioshock.

Pictured: A Father / Daughter pair you do NOT want to mess with... unless you want to perform an exorsism on her or rot her flesh off. Then go for it.

Pictured: A Father / Daughter pair you do NOT want to mess with... unless you want to perform an exorsism on her or rot her flesh off. Then go for it.

I really loved playing this game. It may not have been difficult and the final boss may have been too easy for my liking, but it doesn’t detract from the VERY enjoyable and oddly unique-per-person experience of Bioshock.

I, for example, kept getting pictures of the chameleon splicers till I could become invisible, then stood silently in a room and waited for someone to wander in front of my gun. Then, after they were twitching and their comrades were yelling for them, I turned invisible and repeated the process. I also took many a big daddy as bodyguards and every time I saw a machine, I hacked faster than Lizzie Borden.

That being said, I wish there were a few more ending options. It’s all dependedant on what you do to the Little Sisters. Kill even one, you get the bad ending. Kill them ALL, get the same bad ending, but she sounds a little more miffed about it. Save ALL of them, get the good ending.

In the end, you can either be Mega Baby Punching Hitler Hussein or Rainbow Shining Super Jesus Obama.

Pictured: That second one.

Pictured: That second one.

Also, here’s yesterday’s pic of the day. I knew I forgot to do something.

Well, onto the glitches. I’ve got a few to report about. Spoilers in green.

– About halfway into the game, my audio broke. To the point where sound effects were mere bloops, music was like a scratched CD, and the vocal acting was suddenly on par with Stephen Hawking. Still better than Twilight though.

-Later, in the apartment complex, you can happen upon a cache of guns. What sucks is that they’re behind iron bars. However, if you have Telekinesis, you can pull them to you and lo and behold, ammo galore!

Now, I had a Big Daddy following me at this point, and I was grabbing stuff like crazy. I grabbed a shotgun, then some bullets, so on and so forth, and then I accidentally picked up some pistol rounds. Being full, he just held them in his TK grip, and then tossed them.

I watched, in terror, as the bullets bounced off the shelf at the back, flew towards me, between the bars, over my head, and and tapped my Big Daddy companion on the noggin. She instantly flew into a rage and shot me full of holes.

-However, the oddest glitch was right at the end of the game, as you are supposed to chase Frank Fontain to the final battle area and you see him outside of the Bathysphere.

The game loaded the level, I walked forward, near the fire, and the game froze. I tried again. It froze. Frustrated, I loaded an earlier save and played the grueling powers randomly shifting level before that, and got back to the level, where it froze again.

I then went to Hastings to rent the game. It was there, but they said that someone had put the box out by mistake. I was given a coupon for a free rental. I came back the next day. Same thing. Next day, same deal. Ended up with a fist full of free rental coupons and no game.

Angry, I went to Blockbuster. They didn’t have the game, not even in their SYSTEM. They didn’t carry it there at all, they said.

So, I headed to Hollywood Video. Rented the game, headed home. It still froze, and upon examining the disk, the underside appeared to have been warped prior to my renting it. I returned the game, angry, and asked for a refund. They said they’d put a free rental on the account, which they didn’t do. I don’t rent from there now.

So, I headed to Hastings, to snag another free coupon, but the game box wasn’t there. As I left, I decided to ask, on sheer chance. The game WAS in, even though there was no box. I rented it and headed home. Still failed.

So, I called a friend, who brought over his Xbox, put in the game, and beat it in two hours. Perfect. Still, the other Xbox hasn’t had a single problem with any other game I’ve ever seen.

So, I glitched multiple video stores, a system, and the game itself. I still love Bioshock. Until next time, readers, don’t mess with Mr. Bubbles. -GG





Glitch of the Week: Gears of War 1 & 2

1 06 2009

Ok, I’ve been slacking. I just haven’t been on my ball this week, trying to pay the bills and get things together in my life.

In penance, I’m also giving you guys a double feature for my Glitch of the Week. Here we go, with my favorite shooter series, Gears of War.

Pictured: Awesome incarnate.

Pictured: Awesome incarnate.

In the firstĀ  GOW, I have two simple glitches to report. But let me start by saying all of my glitches were encountered by playing split screen with a friend of mine. That being said…

1.) At one checkpoint, the players start on different levels of a building and soon emerge into a street where they are expected to give each other covering fire. I know, it sounds generic, because this game is FULL of these scenarios.

For those of you who REALLY care, it’s in Act 2, screenshots here.

Now, I was scouting for Cog Tags and seeking to gather as much ammo as possible, and after our skirmish, I turned and headed back down my path, intending to comb the area for missed loot.

However, I instead reached a door that was SUPPOSED to be closed. Instead, the door was simply GONE, and I could see the interior of the room, no floor or walls, and fiery hell for a background, perfectly still behind the scenery.

2.) My second glitch took place at the very end, fighting General Raam. There, just as my Torque Bow put the final nail (er, or, explosive arrow / dart thing) in his coffin, the cut scene kicked in.

Having already beaten the game once, I was prepared to watch Raam fall down, defeated, and watch the marvelous ending. However, apparently while the boom of the Bow was in progress, Raam’s Krill were tearing me to heck and back.

The result? The cutscene played twice. It played once, on the top of the screen, and once, on the bottom half. Weird.

Lastly, I’m playing through Gears of War 2 now. Last to the party, I know.

While we were heading towards the palace in the Nexus halfway through the game, my partner was bravely mowing through enemies with a Grinder (minigun) he was lugging around. Me? I was using one of MY favorite combos: the Boom Shield and Gorgon Pistol.

However, soon, our trolley began to give way, forcing us to abandon it for another trolley that was passing. Then we came to a bitter realization. My partner had to ditch his Grinder to hop over, and for some reason, I had to drop my Boom Shield, ruining my combo.

Enraged, on we went, and I decided to use a standby weapon, my flamethrower. I continued to fire, and soon our craft docked. We then came to another discovery: I was floating. About two feet off the ground, Dom was floating and unable to walk unless ducking into new cover.

I ended up having to wait while my partner ran on to trigger a cut scene which teleported my character to the next level. Sigh.

Well, there you have it. Until next time, gamers, enjoy E3! -GG





Glitch of the Week: Final Fantasy 7

25 05 2009
Pictured: The begining of terrible FF games, with the exception of 9.

Pictured: The begining of terrible FF games, with the exception of 9.

This one is about a classic game, albeit not nearly as classic as FF6, 4, etc.

It all started when my step-cousin loaned me the game, back when I had no idea what constituted an RPG. I found myself swept up in the first disc’s cyberpunk setting and interesting characters.

So, I was sorely disapointed by the later levels, and subsequent fanboy-ism that plagues the game to this day. It was a good game. Not a great game. And Tetsuya Nomura can fall off a cliff into something painful, if the lord is merciful to gamers.

Anyhow, I was in the Shinra tower, when Sephiroth murders everyone, leaving the party a trail of blood to follow. However, every time I would go to enter Rufus’ office, the game would fade to black, and the disc would never read.

I tried time and time again, with no results. Then I got angry, but first, an explanation for the faulty disc.

You see, my step cousin had the game, the system, and no memory card. So all he and his family ever played was the first reactor. After a while, his little brothers and sisters threw the disc around, and with no desire to play a 60 hour game in one sitting, they were allowed to use disc one as a frisby in the gravel driveway, causing massive gashes and severe damage to the underside of the game.

Now, many would argue, “GG, this isn’t a glitch, that’s an error!” But the glitch is still to come. For this is the day my data-corrupting powers glitched not game, but reality.

In my fury and desperation, I took the disk tot he bathroom, nickle in hand. There, I furiously scratched the ENTIRE underside of the disk, over and over again, then massaged it with toothpaste and soap, rinsed, and slammed the battered (and now cracking) disk back into my console.

And with that, Rufus’ office loaded, and on I went with my game.

Until next time, don’t get any ideas. -GG





Glitch of the Week – Phantasy Star Online Episodes 1 & 2 Plus

18 05 2009
Pictured: better than whatever YOURE playing... well, it WAS, like... a decade ago.

Pictured: better than whatever YOU'RE playing... well, it WAS, like... a decade ago.

Ok, props to Tom for showing me this mess. Simply amazing.

With THAT little tidbit out of the way, lemme type towards your face-holes for a minute about gaming goodness. The game is called Phantasy Star Online, and it’s quite possibly one of my favorite games of all time. The game offered 12 classes to choose from, 20 costumes each, and more awesome weapons than you can shake a stick at.

Why is that so cool? It was a very early console MMO that was ported several times and retains it’s devoted fan base to this very day, despite a CRAPPY overworld. Play it. If you don’t like it, then you can show yourself the door, because you’ve failed.

Anyway, at the bank, you can stack up to ten consumable items, such as Monomates (health restoring potions) in a single item slot. Very few items can be stacked higher than this. To my knowledge, only two exist in the current offline game: Photon Drops and Photon Speres.

What do those two items do? Not important here. If you’re desperate to know, just google search it or play the dang game, you lazy hack.

Now, Drops and Spheres can be stacked rediculously. You can store up to 99 in a single item slot. However, you only need one.

Now, once you have a single Photon Drop (or sphere, whatever) just deposit it in the bank. Then deposit 10 of any other consumable item, like the previously mentioned Monomate.

Next, go to withdraw an item. Select the consumable, and a menu will appear asking how many of the item you wish to withdraw. Select the full 10. The game will then ask if you are sure. Say NO to the freakish blonde-haired woman. THEN, go back into your bank account, as if to withdraw an item. Select the single Photon Drop and say Yes this time.

You now have ten Photon Drops in your invetory, and one still in the bank. Repeat until you have 98 in your invetory, and then deposit them all.

Once the Drops are deposited, deposit a single consumable, like a Trifluid (recovers all of a player’s TP, which is used to cast spells). Go to withdraw the 99 Drops, like you did the Monomates before, and say NO again. Then select the single consumable (Trifluid) and say YES.

You now have 99 Trifluids. Which is impossible. Awesome.

This is AWESOME, because it means practically infinite HP/TP/WHATEVER YOU NEED, as well as near-infinite items to feed your Mag, which can significantly improve any character.

However, on the down side, it apparently means you’ll NEVER FIND RARE ITEMS WHILE YOU’RE HOLDING ALL THOSE ITEMS. So think about it before you go breaking the game.

Until next time, fellow Hunters. -GG





Glitch of the Week: God of War II

10 05 2009

We come now, in the early hours of the Lord’s day, to the main reason I started this blog.

I call this segment the Glitch of the Week!

Basically, once a week, I give an outlined detail of one of my more ridiculous video game glitches. There’s only one game I’ve ever completed glitch free: .hack//infection, and if I DID have a glitch, how was I supposed to NOTICE?!

This week, I tackle one of my personal favorite glitches from God of War II.

Near of the begining of the story, Kratos encounters a titan named Typhon, who blasts him with wind in an attempt to kill Kratos, the one man who wants to help the Titans. retarded? Yep. Fun? You bet.

This is the face that says 'Don't help me escape jail, I deserve to be imprisoned for no reason, now watch as I fight you for trying to rescue me, because I was wrongfully put here. Breeze blowing son-of-Gaia.'

This is the face that says 'Don't help me escape jail, I deserve to be imprisoned for no reason, now watch as I fight you for trying to rescue me, because I was wrongfully put here. Breeze blowing son-of-Gaia.'

Speaking of Gaia, this means Gaia, mother earth, sent Kratos to go gouge out her son’s eye without even giving the guy a phone call. Thanks mom. You know what Mother Earth gets for Mother’s day? Eco terrorism. Captain Planet can eat it when mommy sends some greek dude to pop out something you need to see. Deforestation, here I come.

Anyhow, when fighting him, you avoid his breath, because he’s a bigger blowhard than Al Gore. (zing!) Just kidding. Al Gore is still the bigger windbag. However, eventually you get the opportunity to tear out his eye and claim the bow hidden within. Why is there a bow in his eye? I’m putting MY bets that he came home from the prom with a fire Nymph and mommy found out. Tree-covered bag probably put it there just to spite poor Typhon.

Mother of the year? Maybe not. World's biggest bonfire? Call the colleges and order the kegs, it's about to get real.

Mother of the year? Maybe not. World's biggest bonfire? Call the colleges and order the kegs, it's about to get real.

Well, long and short of it, you’re supposed to tear out the bow and mercilessly wail on Typhon for a bit, but my game wouldn’t allow it. Luckily, I wasn’t the only one who encountered the glitch.

Skip to about 3:30 to see the travesty in action. Thanks to NextGen Walkthroughs for the vid.

In addition, after stabbing the air like a merciless fusion of Shaquille O’Neal and OJ Simpson, my Kratos fell back to earth, heavily damaged and surrounded my bats. Terribly annoying, but very fun to watch!

Well, that’s it for this installment of Glitch of the Week. Make sure to tune in next week. I’ve been playing Braid like crazy and already found a glitch less than halfway through.

Until then readers. -GG